Thursday, December 18, 2003
All-American Allegiant Alleger
A neoconservative superhero with the ability to control all forms of media; the caped crusader in a trenchcoat preserves freedom and fights for American justice the Right way.
In 1992, Project 4A - The All American Allegiant Alleger - existed only in the depths of Karl Rove's fantasies, as he toiled for the re-election of G.H.W. Bush, and against the centrist try-to-be-impartial news Zeitgeist. Although getting the Media to append the word "gate" to anything remotely related to Democratic challenger Bill Clinton, his wife, and his home state of Arkansas was looked on as a remarkable feat, Karl wanted more. Shortly after being fired from the losing campaign for leaking information to columnist Robert Novak, the future junta-maker went into seclusion for a season to re-find his Mojo. Later, rejuvenated, he teamed up with a cabal of ex-Microsoft and ex-Nazi scientists to create the perfect candidate by combining a clone of the good-looking-if-not-so-smart Dan Quayle, the secreted brain of the political philosopher Leo Strauss (though he'd been dead for twenty years his brain had been cryogenically frozen), the sperm of Nobel Prize winner and noted ladies man Henry Kissinger, and the secreted sweat of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Project 4A (a.k.a. A.4 or Boris Karl) was initially conceived to replace Dan Quayle and to be appointed to the Presidency by the Supreme Court in 1996, but fate had other ideas. Try as they might, Karl and the ex-Microsofties and ex-Nazis couldn't bring their anti-Franken creature to life. In 1995, Project 4A (or A.A.A.A. or Dan Quail) was abandoned, though some of the data and research later proved instrumental in the remaking of the nothing-if-about-it, not-so-smart George Dubya Bush.
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