Monday, February 21, 2005
The GOPUSA Subscriber Agreement
This is a hoot: cache link. It's what each and every of the 250,000 - 750,000 subscribers of the many GOPUSA "services" have to agree to, or otherwise "YOU MAY NOT USE THE GOPUSA SITES." (sorry for the caps in this post but i'm trying to respect dr. bobby eberle's wishes since he doesn't like it if you "modify, publish, transmit, display, participate in the transfer or sale, create derivative works, or in any way exploit the content of the GOPUSA Sites or any portion of it" and though I never signed the agreement I'm willing to agree to the not "modify" part so i'll try to make up for it by cutting the caps from my portion of the "content").
so, in case you're still wondering, gopusa = talon news = millions of americans = whatever other website bobby controls:
"The GOPUSA Sites consist of information services and content provided by GOPUSA.com, Inc. ("GOPUSA"), affiliates of GOPUSA, and third parties."
bobby can do whatever he wants with any "content" you add to his websites or e-mail you send him:
"You hereby grant to GOPUSA and its affiliates worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display any message posted in the Community Areas and/or any e-mail sent by you to GOPUSA (in whole or in part) and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media or technology now known or later developed."
you can't sue bobby for lying, whether by accident or on purpose:
"YOU EXPRESSLY AGREE THAT USE OF THE COMMUNITY AREAS AND THE GOPUSA SITES IS AT YOUR SOLE RISK. NEITHER GOPUSA, ITS AFFILIATES NOR ANY OF THEIR RESPECTIVE EMPLOYEES, AGENTS, THIRD PARTY CONTENT PROVIDERS OR LICENSORS WARRANT THAT THE GOPUSA SITES WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED OR ERROR FREE; NOR DO THEY MAKE ANY WARRANTY AS TO THE RESULTS THAT MAY BE OBTAINED FROM USE OF THE GOPUSA SITES OR AS TO THE ACCURACY, RELIABILITY OR CONTENT OF ANY INFORMATION, SERVICE OR PRODUCTS PROVIDED THROUGH THE SITES OR THE COMMUNITY AREAS."
that means jeff gannon too:
"IN NO EVENT WILL GOPUSA OR ANY PERSON OR ENTITY INVOLVED IN CREATING, PRODUCING OR DISTRIBUTING THE GOPUSA SITES BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF THE ACCESS TO, USE OF, OR INABILITY TO USE THE GOPUSA SITES OR OUT OF THE BREACH OF ANY WARRANTY. YOU HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE PROVISIONS OF THIS SECTION 5 SHALL APPLY TO ALL CONTENT ON THE GOPUSA SITES AND/OR THE COMMUNITY AREAS."
but just in case you do:
"GOPUSA'S LIABILITY TO USERS, IF ANY, SHALL IN NO EVENT EXCEED THE TOTAL AMOUNT PAID BY USER TO GOPUSA."
again bobby needs to make sure you know that you can't sue him for lying:
"UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL GOPUSA BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OR DAMAGE CAUSED BY YOUR RELIANCE ON INFORMATION OBTAINED THROUGH EITHER THE CONTENT ON THE GOPUSA SITES AND/OR ANY POSTINGS ON THE COMMUNITY AREAS."
even bobby knows his operation employs a bunch of rank amateurs:
"PLEASE SEEK THE ADVICE OF PROFESSIONALS, AS APPROPRIATE, REGARDING THE EVALUATION OF ANY SPECIFIC INFORMATION, OPINION, ADVICE OR OTHER CONTENT, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO FINANCIAL, HEALTH, OR LIFESTYLE INFORMATION, OPINION, ADVICE OR OTHER CONTENT."
bobby follows the laws of the state of texas not none of those there laws by any other national or international governing bodies:
"THIS AGREEMENT SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE INTERNAL LAW OF THE STATE OF TEXAS, WITHOUT REGARD ITS CONFLICTS OF LAW PROVISIONS, AND WITHOUT REGARD TO THE UNITED NATIONS CONVENTION ON THE INTERNATIONAL SALE OF GOODS."
that means you gotta come to texas to file any potential lawsuits:
"YOU AGREE TO FILE AND PROSECUTE ANY CAUSE OF ACTION PERTAINING TO OR ARISING FROM THIS AGREEMENT IN ANY COURT OF COMPETENT JURISDICTION IN HARRIS COUNTY, TEXAS, OR THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF TEXAS - HOUSTON DIVISION, AND CONSENT AND SUBMIT TO THE PERSONAL JURISDICTION OF AND VENUE IN SUCH COURT."
if bobby screwed up somewhere on this agreement and "unintentionally" made you agree to something that may be ruled unlawful, that don't mean the rest of agreement don't still stand:
"If any of the terms and conditions of this Agreement are held by any court of competent jurisdiction to contravene, or to be invalid under, the laws of any political body having jurisdiction over this subject matter, that contravention or invalidity shall not invalidate the entire Agreement."
and in that case, aw heck, just forget we ever mentioned it:
"Instead, this Agreement shall be construed as if it did not contain the particular provision or provisions held to be invalid, the rights and obligations of the parties shall be construed and enforced accordingly, and this Agreement shall remain in full force and effect."
someday soon, bobby:
"GOPUSA shall have the right to terminate this Agreement and/or cease operations at any time."