Sunday, September 25, 2005
Drudge Backs Up Streisand On Stormy Weather
Matt Drudge tries to make an ass out of Barbra Streisand and ends up making an...
Wait a sec.
What exactly does an ass make of itself if it's already an ass?
(...and what the hell does it make of a bogged down blogger whose first original post, in at least a week, is pathetically devoted to a far-from-fucking-main event?)
The top story at Drudge Report: "STREISAND DECLARES 'GLOBAL WARMING EMERGENCY.'
(...and while I 'spectfully disagree with the left-leaning meme that right wing bloggers can't induce laughter - though the ha-has produced are often unintentional or ironic - the best jokes in the world get ruined when they're imprisoned in all caps. I'd sure like to know why in hell wing nuts lean on their Caps Lock button so much.)
Barbra Streisand is mocked for a soundbite she gave in an interview with Diane Sawyer:
"We are in a global warming emergency state, and these storms are going to become more frequent, more intense."
Well, golly gee, that sure is some far-fetched crazy talk from one of those Hollywood do-gooding wackadoos. It sure is good that we got Matt on the case to counter such doggerel. Next thing you know Babs will say she wished the UN got hit with a hurricane or something.
After Barbra's line, Drudge shows off his googling skills, but in doing so, actually ends up supporting Barbra's case.
Here's how he does it:
"But Sawyer did not remind Streisand that a Category 5 hurricane struck the Bahamas with 160 mph winds -- when the singer was five years old, in 1947!"
"And when Streisand was 8 years old, a Cat 5 hurricane -- named "Dog" -- packing 185 mph churned-away in the Atlantic."
"When she was 9, a Cat 5 storm named "Easy" ripped the seas with 160 mph sustained winds."
There's more...you get the picture.
But if you count the intervals between the hurricanes that Drudge lists you find the following time spans between major storms: 3 years; 1 year; 4 years; 3 years; and then two a year two years in a row (notice how the rate progressed in Drudge's examples, too bad Drudge didn't).
But these days major hurricanes seem to occur more often than Law and Order or CSI episodes.
I'm no hurricane expert but, according to National Geographic, The Economist, Forbes.com, CSMonitor, Physorg.com, and Science Daily, to name a few sources, hurricanes have indeed become more powerful and more frequent over the last 30 years.
It's still debatable whether or not global warming has contributed to the increase but that's not the tactic that Drudge decided to take with his snarky hack job.
The glorified gossip blogger could have just copied the conservative cats at Cato and the dude who wrote Jurassic Park by dismissing global warming as some illiberal, tree-hugging scheme to make money off of - uh, I guess - unsuspecting predominately college educated Americans who don't watch FOX.
Or he could have just blamed it on spurts or cycles.
Instead Drudge laid one.
Drudge posted gigantic photos of Barbra Streisand and a hurricane map to highlight his article (but I sometimes prefer subtlety):
Something tells me the mirror has at least four cheeks when Matt Drudge gazes into it.
(I'm not sure what my last line means, I just like the sound of it).