Monday, April 11, 2005

Wingnuts Meet The Wingnuts


Meet the wingnuts.

They're the stone-age family.

They pull...

...facts from their butts.

They like to make up history.


When will these people learn.


Anything. Read a book. Read the United States Constitution. Learn to look at a fucking map.

I feel sorry for all the free-thinking Republicans out there in America - millions of them - who have to put up with a miniscule number of wingnuts who are rapidly making their entire political party a mockery.

There's no need to bring up the million-and-one stupid wingnutty things some of these right-wing bloggers, pundits and United States Congressmen have been up to the last few weeks, cause they seem to be on a roll, and we might as well look to the future which is sure to be even more wingnuttier.

Case in point: the story I've been covering the last couple of days (Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3). It's about two 16-year-old girls from New York City - one Guinean, the other Bangladeshi who entered America legally but have overstayed their visas though their siblings were born and raised in America - who have been detained as possible "suicide bombers" based on what looks like no evidence whatsoever.

So far this is all we know for sure: "According to a government document provided to The New York Times by a federal official earlier this week, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has asserted that both girls are "an imminent threat to the security of the United States based on evidence that they plan to be suicide bombers." No evidence was cited, and federal officials will not comment on the case." (Nina Bernstein in Saturday's edition of The New York Times)

But that don't stop the wingnuts from weighing in with their faith-based, stupid-assed, unreasonable reasoning.

So many to choose from. Who do I start with? How about these guys:

Meet Wingnut #1 - Bill Lies: "Just my two cents. If you've been convicted of committing a Terrorist act, or planning should be put to death. That's what they are trying to do to us....KILL US...they played the game and lost (got caught). It should cost them their lives."

In case you missed the wingnuttiest part of that diatribe against two 16-year-old girls who have been detained and not "convicted": "...they played the game and lost..." Ummm. Who does Wingnut #1 - Bill Lies think won the "game" on September 11th (not that this has anything to do with that...just proving wingnuttery, that's all).

Meet Wingnut #2 - Txman: "Um... ... ... I can't help but think theres a reason it didn't say Two 16-year-old MIDDLE EASTERN girls from New York City."

Laugh out fucking loud. Watch out with those caps, Txman, you might hurt somebody. Map please for the wingnut. Bangladesh is in Asia and Guinea is in Africa, neither country is anywhere near the Middle East. Perhaps that's the reason why those commie libs at The New York Times didn't say "MIDDLE EASTERN."

Meet Wingnut #3 - speed_addiction: "The father is so full sh*t! Islam was beat into this girl. She was probably isolated and taught to hate her whole life. It was not like she was worth anything to her family, they are muslims and she is only a female anyway."

I'll let that hate-filled wingnut's venomous words speak for themselves. No need to go there, speed_addiction's moniker may have been the reason why - after his service concluded with the US Army Rangers - he served his country by spending 74 months in prison: "A few events in my life have defined me."

Meet Wingnut #4 - taxesareforever: "But one federal official, not connected to the F.B.I., expressed skepticism that the teenagers represented a real risk of a suicide bombing. What's his name? Are we supposed to guess? Okay: A.Bill Clinton B.Daschle C.Berger D.Pelosi E.Kennedy F.Kerry G.All of the Above."

The correct answer, wingnut, which you forgot to include would be "None of the above" because none of the people you named are currently working in federal law enforcement.

Meet Wingnut #5 - azhenfud: "Those girls must have a size C4 cup."

Oh don't mind azhenfud. Just because he has his mind on the breasts of 16-year-old girls, that doesn't mean he isn't pious: "Know therefore that God exacteth of thee less than thine iniquity deserveth."

Meet Wingnut #6 - kingu: "Don't care if they may or may not have wanted to be suicide bombers. Deport them. Deport their illegal parents. The kids born here can stay - orphanages if they're minors. Hey, if you want to be a compassionate conservative, they can stay one month for every illegal they identify who is deported."

Finally, a defintion of "compassionate conservative" that almost makes sense.

Folks, we have a winner for nuttiest wingnut of the day.

Meet Wingnut #7 - Cross: "Your response is a good example of how political correctness obfuscates the truth. You are more offended by your perceived view of my racial orientation than you are about why immigration is going to be the largest problem facing the west since the black plague. (At the risk of being labeled a white supremist, let me amend it to just the plague of Europe in the 14th century.)"

What the fuck was that?

More wingnuttery from Cross: "You must remember that the people in western countries are not reproducing and in fact the number of deaths exceed the number of births...One solution might be that western countries pay women to have children, say $20,000 per child and I’ll bet the native populations will soon expand making immigration less needed."

Twenty grand per birth might not produce a nation of Reagan's mythical "welfare queens" but where's the money going to come from?

Oh...silly me for forgetting to think wingnuttily...the answer must be from social security.


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